Feedback.
We all need it but it’s rarely one size fits all. Effective feedback must be the right type, delivered at the right time, and in the right setting.
Determining the “right” type of feedback is challenge #1 both for the provider and the recipient. It’s important for leaders to be aware of the different types of feedback and to develop the ability to tailor their approach based on the situation and the individuals they are leading. It’s equally important for individuals to be aware of their preferences for feedback so they can proactively communicate with others and they can receive and accept productive feedback.
Until a few years ago I had no idea there were different types of feedback. I was extremely frustrated in my job at the time because I felt a complete lack of feedback from my boss. I craved some perspective about what I was doing well, areas I could improve, and opportunities to grow. I wanted to know specifically how I measured up against his expectations. My boss, however, thought he was giving me feedback regularly. Whenever he saw me, he would say something like, “Great job” or “You’re awesome”. We had a failure to communicate.
While he was giving me feedback, it wasn’t the feedback I needed. Telling someone they are doing a good job is great, and I encourage leaders to do it regularly. I didn’t consider that type of input to be “feedback” because what I was looking for was information about how I could improve. It was an indicator that I was doing well but as someone who strives for improvement, it did nothing to help me navigate the next steps of my professional development and lacked specificity about what exactly I was doing well.
What’s your type?
According to Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen (2015), the authors of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, one of the keys to understanding and providing effective feedback is to acknowledge that there are different types. Stone & Heen identify three main categories of feedback:
Appreciation – aims to convey thanks; being valued, seen, and understood
Coaching – meant to help someone learn, change, grow, and improve
Evaluation – provides a measurement against a standard; comparison or ranking
In the example using my former boss, he was offering me Appreciation Feedback when I wanted Evaluation and Coaching Feedback. It’s possible he had no idea that I felt frustrated or perceived a lack of feedback. In hindsight, I could have done a better job of asking for the type of feedback I was looking for. In other words, I could have offered him some Coaching Feedback about his leadership and created an opportunity for a more effective working relationship.
To improve your ability to give (and receive) feedback, start paying attention to the different types and develop your ability to decipher when each would be most appropriate. Consider the needs of the recipient and realize that you must deliver the feedback in a way that it can be received and absorbed.
Context matters.
The old-school method for telling someone where they fell short was the “compliment sandwich”.
Some leaders still employ this approach when delivering constructive feedback, and it’s a reasonable starting point but isn’t always necessary or productive. The technique involves giving a compliment first, then describing the shortfall, and closing with another compliment. Most people can sniff out the BS 💩 in the compliments and truthfully just want their manager to get to the point. It’s not always necessary to provide a “spoonful of sugar” when giving Coaching or Evaluation Feedback if you merely set the conditions and let the person know what to expect.
In general, I am someone who craves feedback. I appreciate direct communication and value the opportunity to gain perspective about my performance in the interest of growth and improvement. Imagine my confusion when I recently found myself becoming defensive while receiving some Coaching Feedback. It took me a little while to untangle my reaction and to realize that I felt blindsided by the unsolicited and unexpected feedback. The deliverer launched into his feedback about my teaching at a time when I was in the role of student. It felt harsh and out of context and my brain had some difficulty processing his input.
If he had made just one minor change in his approach, I would have been much more receptive to his input. He could have given the feedback at a time when I was expecting it. He could have asked me if it was okay for him to offer me some feedback and then respected my answer if I had said that a different time would be better.
Most people can handle negative feedback if it is provided in the right context. It might be as simple as setting a meeting and letting the person know that you will be providing Coaching or Evaluation Feedback and that it will include areas where they can improve. You could turn it into a two-way conversation where you both explore areas for improvement. You could ask for their input about their shortcomings before offering your observations. The key is to know your audience and work together to find an effective way to communicate.
Ask for what you need.
Feedback is essential to identify our blind spots and to gain perspective on our behaviors. Growth is nearly impossible in a vacuum, and we need others to let us know how we are doing. This could be someone letting us know we are valued (Appreciation Feedback), someone helping us grow (Coaching Feedback), or someone telling us how we stack up against a particular metric (Evaluation Feedback). Your needs for different types of feedback can vary based on the situation and it’s important to ask proactively for the type of feedback you need.
I worked with a client recently who expressed a high need for Appreciation Feedback. She realized how important it was for her to hear when she was on the right track or to be recognized for her efforts. Rather than waiting for the Appreciation Feedback to come, I encouraged her to ask for it. If you are seeking Appreciation Feedback, start by asking a specific question such as, “Can you tell me three things I did well on that assignment?”. This gives the other person a clear idea of what you are asking for and increases the chances that you’ll get the type of feedback you need.
If you are seeking Coaching Feedback, start by being clear about your objective. The purpose of Coaching Feedback is to help someone improve, learn, grow, or change. It requires active participation on the part of the feedback provider and assumes they have an interest in your development. Be mindful that it might take some time for them to come up with substantive input and that they might need some feedback from you, as the feedback requestor, during the process to find an effective approach.
According to Stone & Heen (2015), “(e)valuations are always in some respect comparisons, implicitly or explicitly, against others or against a particular set of standards” (p. 33). It’s essential to clarify the standards so you know what you are being measured against and to ensure you and your evaluator are using the same scale. Evaluations can be an amazing tool to create clarity and objectivity, provided you are aware of the standards and the method of evaluation.
It’s important to ask clearly for the feedback you need and to be specific about your request so your manager can learn how to work with you effectively. It’s also possible that your manager will not be receptive to your input. I’ve been there and ultimately decided to move on to a new role as a result. At the end of the day you can only control your behavior, so do your part to get clear about the type of feedback you need and then ask for it. If your boss can’t meet your expectations then it might be time to reconsider whether the role is still a good fit for you.
Leadership requires a feedback loop.
“Feedback”. It means different things to different people. It is context-dependent, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Feedback is an essential tool for growth and can be much more effective with increased awareness. And it starts with you.
Begin by becoming aware of how you feel when someone offers you feedback – if you notice a disconnect, consider whether there is a lack of alignment in expectations and then ask for what you need. Be intentional when you are the one offering feedback to others and experiment with the different types of feedback. Ask the recipient if they are open to feedback and clarify your objective before proceeding.
People need to know how they’re doing. In the absence of feedback, people will draw their own conclusions. One possible reaction to a lack of feedback is to assume everything is going well and continue doing the same things; another reaction is to wonder constantly if something is wrong and on the verge of falling apart. If someone is underperforming or missing the mark, it is the leader’s responsibility to tell them clearly where they are falling short. If they’re doing well, the leader must identify their areas of strength and offer encouragement and reinforcement to continue.
There is no ceiling to growth. Leadership flourishes with a strong feedback loop. The onus is on the feedback provider to offer productive input, and the feedback recipient has a responsibility to contribute to the communication in the interest of an effective working relationship. Leadership goes both ways — don’t wait until you are a manager to start improving your ability to provide and receive feedback.
Want to improve your feedback skills or implement a feedback loop in your organization? Book a free consultation with Luminology to learn how here.
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References
Stone, D., & Heen, S. (2015). Thanks for the feedback: the science and art of receiving feedback well. Penguin Books.
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